Snazzy Snippets: I HATH RETURNED

BLOOKUNITY I HAVE RETURNED FROM MY HIATUS. With more Mulan + Swan Lake snippets.

(I know I still haven't read all of your snippets last time, but I'll get to them ASAP. My bad, school is killing me.)

Snazzy Snippets is a bimonthly link-up I co-host with Emily @ Loony Literate. For those who weren't around last time:

It’s an opportunity for writers! Every two months, we post a prompt or question for you to share a snippet of fewer than 500 words. It’s designed to let you have fun, analyse your work on a smaller level, or just write something to join in.

If you’re not a writer, or aren’t working on anything, don’t go back up the rabbit hole just yet. Read everyone’s wonderful snippets on the linky!

Still have questions? Snazzy Snippets has its own page on the blog, with FAQs and more. Take a look!

Reminder that this isn't just for novels! The prompts were designed with novels in mind, but most are also applicable to short stories, poetry, anything.

Without further ado, the prompts (themed around the past):

A snippet where characters consider their backstory
or

A snippet featuring a child (i.e. a freebie for you YA and MG writers)
or

A  snippet from something you wrote more than 2 years ago

Remember to include your post URL in the linky! I'll be sure to visit ALL your snazzy snippets.

For those who are new, I'll be sharing snippets from my WIP, a Mulan + Swan Lake retelling. It includes monsters and magic, grave robbers, deaf assassin-witches, witchy rival-lover dynamics, and lots of desserts. I like to imagine it as VICIOUS meets THE NIGHT CIRCUS.

1. A snippet where characters consider their backstory

“Don’t lecture me, huangfu, I might actually remember your wisdom.”

Her father sighed and began brushing the sugar strands on the seat into the palm of his soft hands. “I tried to motivate a little girl who skinned her knee running from a street-performer’s fire-spell. Back then you were afraid of magic. Now I am.”

For half a year, her royal mother spent the two hours before midnight to read Mak the most ancient magical texts, and two hours after to let Mak touch the magic. One morning, instead of her usual nap, Mak snuck out and tried to burn down the vegetable garden. Instead she’d burned out and spent a week in a hospital bed. That was the first and only time her father raised his voice to her royal mother.

Out loud, all Mak said was, “A wonder you had the courage to marry huangmu.”

“Even you fear your royal mother. But you still have the heart to defy her. So why do you hide from Yi?”

Because Yi promised a windstorm in those eyes. Mak could only hold a candle to this sister, and she didn’t know if Yi would snuff it out or set her life ablaze. “My mother and I aren’t competing for the kingdom.”

“Yi doesn’t want to steal your kingdom. She wants to save it.”

This snippet features our second main character, Mak, who is the princess and heir to the empire. However, her position can

When an incredibly talented (and incredibly gorgeous) witch shows up, one can predict the conflict.

More about that in the next snippet. Of more interest here are:

• Mak's incredibly fabulous parents. Let me tell you, those two have backstory. Not written down, I mean, but I just know.
• Mak learns magic and instantly decides to burn stuff. A girl after my own heart.

Oh, and since I'm getting back into revising this (aiming for mid-July, once I have all school stuff out of the way), I'm now sharing my writing progress every week to anyone who wants to be email friends!

Read weekly snippets of MULAN + SWAN LAKE

I'll start sending them next week, so grab your takeout and hop on the train!

2. A snippet featuring a child

Mak returned his smile and stretched her legs outside the car. “I’ll look up your almanac and charm a pack of tea leaves.”

“Try not to mix it up with your poisons this time.” Her father frowned again and didn’t even protest when Mak took the box of dragonbeard candy. “And Mak—you’re right to be afraid of her. Take care, my daughter.”

“I think I still have the poison left from last time to deal with enemy sisters.” The cold garage air pricked goosebumps on her bare arms, and Mak hugged the candy box closer to her chest.

“And if she becomes your friend? Witchcraft is a fellowship, and you even call her sister.” Her father pressed the button for the shuttle lift to take them back to the palace. “Coastguard or not, you’re competing with her. When your friendship turns sour, it will ruin you. She will ruin you.”

Mak smiled a careful skull’s grin. If ruination came for her, she’d destroy it first. “Then she’d be making demons. What a traitor to the coastguard.”

“Mak,” her father called after her as she stalked out of the lift. “The Huntress is the kind of woman who is made from the fire. You’re a moth dancing in the flames.”

Since this IS a YA retelling, I could have chosen literally any snippet. But here, I think Mak is behaving like a child who thinks she can take care of herself. So basically every child ever.

I included copious amounts of food in this novel (thanks Cait) but I actually managed to make it a device to show character development (?!?!?). I won't reveal all, but suffice it to say Mak talks less about candy/cake and more about ... you'll see. *winks*

(There's also a high-flying all-rounded A+ girl who loves coffee. Three guesses why.)

Well ... two guesses left.

This snippet, though, shows just how melodramatic and unrealistic Mak can be. As I said: after my own heart.

3. A snippet from something I wrote more than 2 years ago

“They only remember Mulan fought a war. They forget she weaved at her window, that she asked the emperor for a horse to take her back, that when she returned she donned face paint and gowns. They remember Mulan tried to be a man, and forget when she was a woman.” — from planning notes of this WIP

For those of you who are unaware, I love retelling Mulan. This retelling is so very much about femininity. I looked through my musings back from when I translated the original ballad of Mulan and found this gem.

I don't think it needs further comment, really, except that this WIP is all about femininity and China and mis-identity.

Also witches. Don't forget the witches and demons. Sound cool? Join me as I ignore schoolwork and dash through revisions:

Yes, weekly snippets about witches and demons sound FABULOUS

Alternatively, join my takeout army and read the spinoff short story about a deaf assassin-witch conquering cities and critiquing tea!

You may have noticed, by the way, that I no longer use the title Witches Black & Silver to refer to this WIP. That's because I've thought of a new, better name — and it's nearly quoted in one of the snippets. Guessing time, blookunity!

Which is your favourite snippet? What do you think the WIP's new title is? And how is your own writing coming along?

Twitter-sized takeout:

• "The Huntress is a woman made from the fire. You’re a moth dancing in the flames." Snippets from @AlyssaC_HK! (Click to Tweet)
• Writers, time for a little nostalgia! Share snippets themed around CHILDHOOD and THE PAST. (Click to Tweet)

Snazzy Snippets: Valentine Edition (with utterly unromantic snippets)

Hello world! Before we begin Snazzy Snippets today — there is an #ADSOMreadalong for the wonderful A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab, in anticipation of the release of the sequel A Gathering of Shadows in February!

We'll be having Twitter chats, so join us on 1, 8, 15 and 22 February at 9 PM EST with the hashtag #ADSOMreadalong. You should absolutely join us if you've already read ADSOM, have it on your TBR, or enjoy badass pirate ladies, killer magic, and cinnamon roll princes.

And now!

Emily talked me into a Valentine edition, and I thought, why not? After all, a lot of writers love writing romance, and I always accidentally write unhappy romances. Everyone gets to share, yay!

(Don't worry, non-romance writers — feel free to adjust the prompts for platonic love if you prefer.)

Newcomers, I co-host a bimonthly link-up with Emily @ Loony Literate called Snazzy Snippets. What's it about?

Snazzy Snippets is an opportunity for writers! Every two months, we post a prompt or question for you to share a snippet of less than 500 words. It’s designed to let you have fun, analyse your work on a smaller level, or just write something to join in.

If you’re not a writer, or aren’t working on anything, don’t go back up the rabbit hole just yet. Read everyone’s wonderful snippets on the linky!

Still have questions? Snazzy Snippets has its own page on the blog, with FAQs and more. Take a look! And remember: this isn't just for novels! The prompts were designed with novels in mind, but most are also applicable to short stories, poetry, anything. We welcome all types of writing!

Valentine prompts!

A heartwarming snippet that makes readers go “aww!”

or

A kissing snippet

or

A snippet where love interests first appear together 
(applicable for both future or established relationships)

Again, feel free to adjust these prompts for platonic love if romance isn't your jam! And remember to include your post URL in the linky. I'll be sure to visit ALL your snazzy snippets.

1. A heartwarming snippet that makes readers go “aww!”

Okay, I'll be honest, I don't actually have one. My romance subplots are not fluffy, okay? But there is a Matryoshka flashback for familiar love I'm rather fond of:

On his fifth birthday, his father brought Thomas a dagger with Mexrenne gilded on the blade. “People will always scorn you. For being a southerner, for being illegitimate, for being at all. If they hurt you, laugh it off and hurt them back.”

I ... wait, is that even heartwarming? IT IS IN MY BOOK. (Yay, triple pun!)

Thomas was born out of wedlock and didn't get to see his father much, but they did love each other. Thomas basically spends the entire novel walking in his father's footsteps, which may not be the wisest thing when one's parent started a war. And lost it. *squishes the idiot*

In fact, Thomas' father made many poor decisions in life, which resulted in his death. Spoiler! Oh wait, this is a story about finding revenge for his death. Join my takeout army before 12th February to read a spin-off short of Thomas' father's death! Not all is as Thomas thinks it is; rather problematic for a revenge story. *grin*

3. A snippet where love interests first appear together

Thomas tucked his hand behinds his back to hide the sweat and the shaking. He noted down the boy’s features one by one. Hair the colour of Niteran sands, eyes like the rivers of Valz Sommari, long fingers that slipped in and out of his pockets. His uncle would find out who this was in no time.

“I’m Daniel, the Chancellor’s assistant. Friends call me Dan.”

“We’ve just met. It’s too early to tell if we’re friends.”

“You’re too quick to judge if we should be friends.” Daniel—Dan spent his grins as freely as a bird might fly. ...

[Thomas:] “Kindness means nothing to the dead.”

“And vengeance does?” Dan’s whiplash reply might have made Thomas smile, but the other boy pouted his pink lips.

Thomas placed a hand over his heart and bowed. A bastard ought to be humble, even to a glorified cupbearer. “We began on a bad note, Dan, and I beg your pardon. Perhaps we might begin again.”

Thomas: raised in exile to play politics, child of the last provincial Governor and his much smarter lover. Dan: survived on the streets through a war and managed to find work in less shady parts of town. Their tongues are a little too sharp for each other.

It's no coincidence that their banter involves a great deal of parallel syntax — there's even more in the rest of Matryoshka. I knew from the start that these two would be love interests, but somewhere in the second draft, Thomas and Dan became polar opposites in morality and temperament.

Tweet this snippet and share the banter! It is, after all, one of their more civil meetings.

2. A kissing snippet

Blookunity, I would love it if you could be more critical about this snippet. I have zero kissing experience and I have this niggling feeling it shows. So help me improve this snippet!

“Can I do something mad?” Dan said in a low voice, his eyes never leaving Thomas’.

“I spent half my life in exile for a father I saw twice a year. I come back with an avenging widow and a merchant who trades in smiles. I’m accusing the most powerful person in Valzyr of murder when he’s defended by the only judge who’s doing her job in the country.” Thomas dropped Dan’s fingers and stepped close enough to see the other boy’s eyes widen. “You couldn’t make my life madder unless my father rose from the dead. Under the circumstances, mad is normal. Mad is good.”

Dan kissed him and tucked fingers around Thomas’ neck as if looking for an ocean in his trembling throat. The constellations could have torn apart and rained hellfire down on them, and they’d never notice. Not until they burned together.

Dan pulled away first. They were both panting heavily, as if they’d already run all the way through the capital. “Well, that was worth getting into this mess.”

There is a lot of character soup here, but it does sum up the story quite nicely.

Widow: Thomas' immensely superior mother Aisha, who is the family strategizer.
Merchant: Thomas' slightly more superior uncle Ramzi, who is the family fundraiser.
Most powerful person: Mallister, Prime Minister + murderer of a lot of people.
Judge: Kim, our sassy hanbok-wearing justice lady who kicks so much ass and takes no nonsense GAH. Nope, I'm not playing favourites.

Oh wait, was I supposed to talk romance? *shrugs* Uhh ... they may have been talking intensely just before this scene, and you know how movies have the guy kiss the girl to shut her up? This scene is a little different—first off, no girl; secondly, Dan asks permission.

But maybe it's a terrible kissing scene so again, would love critiques in the comments!

Oh oh oh! And if you like the sound of my WIPs, there may be a very exciting opportunity on February 27th, my birthday + blogoversary party! Or if you're impatient, I'll send out an extra Matryoshka scene on February 12th, so join my takeout army to read that scene.

Which is your favourite snippet? What are your thoughts on romance?

Twitter-sized takeout:

• "Kindness means nothing to the dead." "And vengeance does?" Revenge story snippets from @AlyssaC_HK! (Click to Tweet)
• It's nearly Valentine's Day! Writers, share your fluffy (or angsty) romance snippets. (Click to Tweet)

Snazzy Snippets: Share Some Snippets in 2016!

WELCOME 2016. And with it, Snazzy Snippets is here for all writers and WIPs with gratuitous alliteration!

I'm continuing to co-host a bimonthly link-up with Emily @ Loony Literate, called Snazzy Snippets. For those who weren't around last time:

It’s an opportunity for writers! Every two months, we post a prompt or question for you to share a snippet of less than 500 words. It’s designed to let you have fun, analyse your work on a smaller level, or just write something to join in.

If you’re not a writer, or aren’t working on anything, don’t go back up the rabbit hole just yet. Read everyone’s wonderful snippets on the linky!

Still have questions? Snazzy Snippets has its own page on the blog, with FAQs and more. Take a look! I also wanted to say: this isn't just for novels! The prompts were designed with novels in mind, but most are also applicable to short stories, poetry, anything. We welcome all types of writing!

January prompts!

A snippet from page 16

or

A snippet of 16 words or fewer

or

A snippet about something NEW
e.g. a new year, new school, introducing a new person/character/setting, a new revelation

Remember to include your post URL in the linky! I'll be sure to visit ALL your snazzy snippets. Also, the next Snazzy Snippets may be coming earlier than expected, so stay tuned. And now MY snippets!

1. A snippet from page 16

The locket refused to come off her neck. This was why Mo preferred stealing from corpses—they weren't particularly attached to their jewellery.

The northerner certainly hadn't complained when Mo stole the locket. A northerner and a girl-corpse, so a witch. Except witches didn’t die, that was why the mipo lived sixty years without starving. Even while tricking idle fools out of their money by tossing a few sticks.

Mo stalked over to the mipo's counter and said in an undertone, "I want a consultation."

The mipo glanced at Mo's neck. "I don't touch that. Black magic."

Real magic. Powerful magic. The mipo was a fraud, everyone whispered, but no one shouted it just in case they were wrong. Mo moved her hand to the knife hidden in her coat.

"You can’t kill me, everyone knows that."

Why, had anyone tried? Mo killed a witch just this morning, and she wasn't inclined to trust everybody.

"I can hurt you," Mo said.

The mipo is a legit part of Chinese superstition — they're people who can commune with the dead. It's derived from wenmi, which translates literally to ask rice, so I created the term mipo or rice grandmother, which I thought was oddly fitting for my Chinese witchy story. The mipo only appears in this one snippet for the purposes of exposition (and for showing how fantastic real witches are.)

But unfortunately, the mipo here is truly based off superstition and Mo sees right through that. Being our compassionate, heroic protagonist, Mo immediately threatens the mipo to give her a straight answer.

Is the answer right? Is it wrong? You'll have to read WIBAS to find out. *grin*

Send me monthly extras for Mulan + Swan Lake retelling

2. A snippet of sixteen words or fewer

they were done with the monsters. happily ever after.

/CHAPTER BREAK/

the monsters were not done with them.

WIBAS is really more an experimental work than anything I've written before. I play with structure and lots of prose poetry, and every now and then I drop in a line of fairytale-heavy reference. This is my favourite so far — the princess Mak and her friend Yi have just decided to leave behind their struggles and be wonderful friends. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts, and the chapter ends!

Of course, I would never be so kind. The next chapter is that single sentence you see above, and the chapter after that is essentially their breakup.

Seriously ... I highly doubt I'll ever write a SINGLE healthy romance.

The monsters here are figurative and more psychological than anything, but there are indeed actual magic monsters in WIBAS. Again, my lips are sealed on this — but monsters are in some way a gateskeeper to the past and our protagonists encounter them.

3. A snippet about something NEW

Willem’s gait rapped a merry rhythm behind her when they entered the justiciary. “Work sweet work.”

Kim might have mirrored his grin, but her throat tightened when she looked up the stairs. “Stop smiling.”

“Why? We’re in the justiciary, there’s nothing to fear. Here you stand above everyone.”

To see more of the crumbling world. “Stop smiling,” Kim repeated and made her way up the stairs. “That area is restricted,” she called out to the southern boy. “The trial for this afternoon has been postponed.”

“Peace be with you,” the boy said, pressing his hand to his heart. “I’m looking for the justiciar.” His olive face was too square and solemn to be handsome, but that crooked smile made a thousand empty promises. That wasn’t why Kim’s heart was racing.

The boy wore the loose white robes of the south and the face of Stanley Mexrenne.

He was sixteen at most. Kim’s hands would shake if they weren’t clutching her skirts. So much for the rebels having no figurehead. It took all her focus to form the words, “I am the justiciar.”

And to wrap up, a Matryoshka snippet to mix things up! You guys saw a bit of this snippet in a previous round, so you can check that out for comparison if you like!

And a new person enters the political fray! Previous to this, a power-hungry Prime Minister, a quietly defiant Chancellor, a group of desperate rebels, and of course Kim herself were jostling in the capital ... but Thomas' arrival spurs them all into action.

At the same time, Thomas is also a call back to the civil war, which is an older time that none of our characters want to go back to. As a member of the literal next generation, Thomas uses methods quite different from his father. As his mother puts it:

Liberty is for the bygone age, when war was glory instead of memory. This is the time for vengeance, for widows and bastards.

Remember, if you like the sound of my WIPs, my takeout army hears about all beta reading opportunities first + reads alllll the extra snippets!

Get first dibs on the Mulan + Swan Lake retelling

Any thoughts on my snippets? What are your writing plans in 2016?

Twitter-sized takeout:

• #amwriting in 2016? It's your chance to shine in @AlyssaC_HK and @thelooneytuney's Snazzy Snippets link-up! (Click to Tweet)
• "they were done with the monsters, but the monsters were not done with them." Snippets from @AlyssaC_HK! (Click to Tweet)

Snazzy Snippets: Evidence of a Terrible First Draft

So in case you didn't hear last week, Snazzy Snippets co-hosted by myself and Emily @ Loony Literate is back! Snazzy Snippets is a chance for writers to share snapshots of their writing around certain themes. You can find out more and link up with us here!

Today I'm sharing two snippets from my NaNo project Witches Black and Silver, and one from my other WIP Matryoshka.

WARNING: the first two snippets were written in NaNo, and are appropriately rambling and absolute weirdness from typing too quickly. I hope they are at least entertaining.

Oh, and another thing: because of school and such, I have not been replying or commenting back for the last couple posts. I'm barely finding enough time to complete my NaNo project, so right now blogging is on the back burner. I have posts to last for a few weeks, but we'll see. Thanks for understanding!

A snippet without dialogue

Mo had time to wash the blood off her hands and violently eat a Hong Kong snack—probably fishballs—before she had to be at the mechanical shop.

Mechanics were dull and Mo really preferred the impossibilities of the nighttime sky. They said the stars disappeared above Hong Kong decades ago, but the city broke down and the stars shone again. Mo sometimes stood on one of the tallest buildings with teeth at the top—yes, I mean IFC in case you were wondering—and looked over the skyline and felt really rather powerful. And this paragraph was supposed to be poetic but it’s too early in the morning.

Is this in any way clear she likes maths instead?

Besides, mechanics paid less. But Mo needed a pretence that she wasn’t actually robbing corpses because tradition. Everyone pretended that was still a thing, and this line should be more quotable.

... I did tell you I rambled in these snippets.

WIBAS is set in Hong Kong, or at least starts in Hong Kong and kind of becomes a roadtrip up north to China. It's all rather vague right now. It is, however, a futuristic wartime Hong Kong, so it's not completely realistic, but I do hope to convey that sense of a city almost too large to remember its people.

A snippet featuring a family member

This being a Mulan retelling, you'll be surprised to hear Mo's father never appears in person. It's complicated. I swear it's still a retelling. Here, have her brother instead:

Mo murdered two people that morning and her family would never know.

And of course she didn’t feel guilty about that, and she didn’t feel guilty about brushing her mum off. Mo went off to boil Chinese medicine, which smelled absolutely horrible and might be kind of useless, if she went by the mechanic, but it worked if you believed in it kinda thing.

Bro: I don’t like this.

Mo: Too bad. I don’t like life much. Drink up! [feeds to bro] [cuddles] Mo hugged him mainly because she wished someone did the same for her, and her mum totally used to, but no.

Bro: Could I go to school?

Mo: We’ll see. [He always asked, her answer was always the same, and she did not take pleasure in this lie.]

Mo never went to school bc she was poor and stuff. Her mum tried to teach her bits of stuff when her father was around but then she had depression and stopped. Her grandmother had a proper education but that didn’t happen.

Basically, to sum up this family, the dad was missing, the mum had depression, Mo had some sort of murder complex, and the bro had some kind of chronic illness.

Yeah, that is actually my first draft. Revising is going to be such a pain in the neck, to put it politely.

Me when revising, to put it less politely.

A snippet that took forever to write

To stop the blookunity from rioting at the abysmal quality of the above two snippets, have a snippet from Matryoshka that's slightly more coherent:

Mallister curled his fingers around a quill. “We are dealing with criminals of a most subtle mind. Thomas schemes like his father, Ramzi Nejem pushed for war right alongside Stanley Mexrenne, and Aisha would throttle me if not for reputation. There’s no shame in admitting we need help.”

Kim reclaimed her composure during his speech. “An extra garrison is not what Your Excellency has in mind?”

“No indeed. I thought we might hire the pirates of Barbos.”

The Midli islands had their fair share of pirates sailing the straits, but Barbos boasted brutality and absolutely no morals. Kim never managed to drag them into the courts after their attack on the capital at the end of the war.

“I would go myself, but …” When he sighed, Mallister’s breath rattled like an old man’s.

They’d all grown old. They stitched together the country after war and the rebels tore the stitches apart. The fight didn’t seem worth making. “What terms would you offer?”

“You disapprove.”

Kim tolerated much that she disapproved. “Justice is blind. I am not.”

I don't even know why this snippet was so hard — I think it was just general out-of-inspiredness at the time, and the wording still feels awkward to me, but I am rather proud of Kim's lines. I'm rather proud of Kim, in general, as I feel obliged to mention she is the hanbok-wearing justice lady of Matryoshka.

Did you link up with Snazzy Snippets? (Hint: click here to join us.) What books are in your hometown?

Snazzy Snippets: NaNoWriMo is here!

WELCOME NANO. And with it, Snazzy Snippets is coming back!

Don't be afraid to share your first-draft NaNo snippets; but of course, Snazzy Snippets is for all WIPs!

I'm continuing to co-host a bimonthly link-up with Emily @ Loony Literate, called Snazzy Snippets. For those who weren't around last time:

It’s an opportunity for writers! Every two months, we post a prompt or question for you to share a snippet of less than 500 words. It’s designed to let you have fun, analyse your work on a smaller level, or just write something to join in.

If you’re not a writer, or aren’t working on anything, don’t go back up the rabbit hole just yet. Read everyone’s wonderful snippets on the linky!

This is your chance to shine, grasshoppers, so comb through your WIPs for a snazzy snippet that fits one of our themes:

A snippet without dialogue

or

A snippet featuring a friend/family member

or

A snippet that took FOREVER to write

And of course you can do more than one in one or more snippets. It can be something you whipped up at 3AM yesterday, or lingering in your ms for a year. There are no rules. Just have fun, and remember to include your post URL in the linky!

Whether or not you're taking this chance to shine (pfft, why wouldn't you though), do take a look around everyone's links! I'll be sure to visit your snazzy snippets.

Still have questions? Snazzy Snippets now has its own page on the blog, with FAQs and more. Take a look!

Thoughts on this month's prompts? Which WIP would you excerpt if you join?

Twitter-sized takeout:

• #amwriting lately? It's your chance to shine in @AlyssaC_HK and @thelooneytuney's Snazzy Snippets link-up! (Click to Tweet)

Snazzy Snippets: Arabic Food and Rebel Judges

So in case you didn't hear last week, Snazzy Snippets co-hosted by myself and Emily @ Loony Literate is back! Snazzy Snippets is a chance for writers to share snapshots of their writing around certain themes. You can find out more and link up with us here!

Today I'm sharing more snippets from Matryoshka. Without further ado:

A snippet with food

The sitting room was polished to a bronze shimmer. The singers fluttered behind the screen in the corner, and Thomas personally tasted the sweet and spiced teas. The kitchens were still working, but the tables were laden with food already. Flatbread with a side of mashed lentils and cumin seeds, duck and chicken roasted with mint, figs rolled in honey and cinnamon, a basket of mangoes and peaches shipped from the south.

Thomas estimated how much of a dent tonight made in their funds. They couldn’t shame the Mexrenne name by being a poor host, but Thomas was not a Mexrenne. He did not command his father’s fortune.

He greeted their guests himself. After all, Thomas was the showpiece tonight, a second chance for the south after losing the civil war. “You have much of Stanley’s look” was the new catchphrase, often attached to “for a bastard”. That was the best compliment of the evening.

Since Thomas comes from Valz Sommari, inspired by a mix of Spanish and Egyptian and Arabic (but mostly Arabic) culture, I had to research all the food. Mashed lentils sounds delicious, in my opinion.

The latter two paragraphs aren't really about food, but they add context to the lavish food descriptions. Hospitality is an important part of southern culture. In order to acquire political and social sway, Thomas and his family are taking some financial risks.

It's not much of a plot point unless I ever write the sequel, but personally I think more challenge-the-government stories need to address the issue of finances.

A snippet you're really proud of

Oh, remember the quote posters I made? Here's the context for one of them, in which Thomas is, as usual, both arrogant and adorable (hopefully):

“You will succeed to your father’s legacy in time, we promise.” His uncle poured Thomas a cup of spiced tea. “But we will never build a future chasing the past, said a wise poet.”

“You’re not a wise poet, uncle.”

The past was not such an ill thing to chase. He learned accounting and trading in his childhood home with the white stone arch, his father’s thrice-yearly gifts of books and jewellery, and the unkept promise that he would come back from the war.

But the war never ended. Not for him. Thomas would fight to his dying breath for his father’s legacy. No one else could stand in his place.

Just to jog your memory, here's the quote poster I made:

Your first 500 words

I actually did share a good portion of my first 500 words last round of Snazzy Snippets, so this time I'll instead share the first couple paragraphs from the PoV of Kim, my semi-antagonist.

(Really though, I want to see a show of hands in the comments. Who roots for Kim, and who's on Thomas' side?)

Kim traded her good sense for justice seven years and eight months ago. She never stopped regretting it, and she would never choose differently.

On the weathered gallows, a corpse rattled in the autumn wind and leered down at her. The trial had been yesterday and Kim remembered every detail. Which house was burnt, whose graves raised, which children orphaned. That hadn’t changed for all the terrorists of the past years. Nor had their sentence—death, death and nothing else for treason—or her silent vow to spare them if they apologised.

They never apologised. They set the world on fire for their dreams and the law meant they perished in the flames.

Kim's character started as an unbending justiciar, as Shadowplay readers may recall. But when I fleshed out her backstory as a Matryoshka PoV, I soon realised she started out as a revolutionary/terrorist like the rebels in Matryoshka. To balance these two sides, I had her stick to this one ironclad rule: she'd forgive any rebel who repented of their bloody terrorist ways.

How ironclad is it really? You'll find out in later chapters. (To stay updated, join my takeout army and be the first to know anything and receive chances to read it!)

Did you link up with Snazzy Snippets? (Hint: you should.) Do you root for Thomas or Kim more?

Twitter-sized takeout:

• Read @AlyssaC_HK's snippets of Arabic food, bastard boys and a vow. (Click to Tweet)

Snazzy Snippets: Food and First Pages

IT HATH RETURNED.

I'm continuing to co-host a bimonthly link-up with Emily @ Loony Literate, called Snazzy Snippets. For those who weren't around last time:

It’s an opportunity for writers! Every two months, we post a prompt or question for you to share a snippet of less than 500 words. It’s designed to let you have fun, analyse your work on a smaller level, or just write something to join in.

If you’re not a writer, or aren’t working on anything, don’t go back up the rabbit hole just yet. Read everyone’s wonderful snippets on the linky!

This is your chance to shine, grasshoppers, so comb through your WIPs for a snazzy snippet that fits one of our themes:

A snippet with food

or

A snippet you're really proud of

or

Your first 500 words

And of course you can do more than one in one or more snippets. It can be something you whipped up at 3AM yesterday, or lingering in your ms for a year. There are no rules. Just have fun, and remember to include your post URL in the linky!

Whether or not you're taking this chance to shine (pfft, why wouldn't you though), do take a look around everyone's links! I'll be sure to visit your snazzy snippets.

Still have questions? Snazzy Snippets now has its own page on the blog, with FAQs and more. Take a look!

Thoughts on this month's prompts? Which WIP would you excerpt if you join?

Twitter-sized takeout:

• #amwriting lately? It's your chance to shine in @AlyssaC_HK and @thelooneytuney's Snazzy Snippets link-up! (Click to Tweet)

Snazzy Snippets: A Closer Look at Matryoshka and Sparse Drafts

So I'm linking up with my own link-up. It sounds weird, but hey, my link-up, my rules.

(Okay, so really it's a collab project with Emily @ Loony Literate, but still.)

Snazzy Snippets is a chance for writers to share snapshots of their writing around certain themes. You can find out more and link up with us here!

Today I'm sharing snippets from the first draft of Matryoshka, which I first introduced in this #WatchMeWrite. You can read all related posts here. Without further ado:

A snippet that shows your MC’s personality

"You’ve always wanted to go to the capital," Thomas' mother said.

"We want a great many things." He wanted to sail across the world, learn a thousand languages and taste as many wines, slay exotic beasts and raise a city in his name, make promises and sell his heart to keep them, kiss a girl with hair of sunlight. He wanted a fairytale and the stars snatched his father.

He was back now to defy the stars.

His mother rewarded him with a thin-lipped smile. "Mallister’s head most of all."

That paragraph right there is a heavy dose of foreshadowing. I had so much fun with it.

A snippet featuring the villain

Well, to be honest, I'm not sure that Thomas can't be the villain as well. Another POV character, Kim, definitely views him as such.

Soldier: *smiling*

K: Stop smiling.

Soldier: Why? We're at the Dpt of Justice, no one can see us.

K: Stop. Smiling. *is watching Thomas* *approaches him carefully*

“Peace be with you,” the boy said in Derroni, pressing his hand to his heart. “I’m looking for the justiciar.” His [skin colour] face was too long and solemn to be called handsome, but that crooked smile made a thousand empty promises. That wasn’t why Kim’s heart was racing.

The boy wore the loose white robes of the south and the face of Stanley Mexrenne.

Remember I mentioned my Camp NaNo draft was basically a "sparse draft"? Here's an example in full force. Notable points:

• asterisk-framed actions like cyberspeak
• no true dialogue tags
• shortened names (K = Kim)
• square brackets as I hadn't decided on how exactly to describe Thomas' skin colour

A snippet that’s mostly dialogue

Basically my entire novel is mostly dialogue, since that was the focal point of my sparse drafting method. But here's a cute passage I quite enjoyed writing:

T: Kindness does the dead no favours.

D: And vengeance does? *exasperated*

The whiplash reply [elevated] Thomas’ opinion of Daniel at once. T: We began on a bad note, Dan, and I apologise. Perhaps we might begin again. *hand on heart*

Dan: *shrugs* sure. The Chancellor sympathises with some parties in less desirable parts of town, but she is set against violence. I might take you there and you could ask them to stand down? Since you serve the same cause.

T: Take me where?

D: The abbey. It’s abandoned, but the rebels have turned it into their base. Just behind the old market by the sea.

T: The old market is the black market. [in less modern but equally blunt terms]

D: You’re quite sharp for a southern boy fresh to the capital.

T: *thinks* You’re quite rude for a Chancellor’s assistant.

This dialogue is way snappier (snazzier, dare I say?) than the time period I'm setting this story in, but that's how it came to me and therefore that's how it's on the paper as a first draft.

Did you link up with Snazzy Snippets? (Hint: you should.) Thoughts on sparse drafting? Was the banter funny?!?

Twitter-sized takeout:

• @AlyssaC_HK linked up with Snazzy Snippets and shared her #CampNaNoWriMo draft. (Click to Tweet)
• Read @AlyssaC_HK's snippets of broken dreams, bastard boys and banter. (Click to Tweet)

Want to stay updated on Matryoshka? Join my takeout army and be the first to basically know anything!

Snazzy Snippets: Share Your Writing With the World

WRITERS, GET EXCITED.

I'm beyond flailing to be co-hosting a brand new bimonthly link-up with Emily @ Loony Literate, called Snazzy Snippets. What's that, you may ask?

It’s an opportunity for writers! Every two months, we post a prompt or question for you to share a snippet of less than 500 words. It’s designed to let you have fun, analyse your work on a smaller level, or just write something to join in.

If you’re not a writer, or aren’t working on anything, don’t go back up the rabbit hole just yet. Read everyone’s wonderful snippets on the linky!

This is your chance to shine, grasshoppers, so comb through your WIPs for a snazzy snippet that fits one of our themes:

A snippet that shows your MC’s personality

or

A snippet featuring the villain

or

A snippet that’s mostly dialogue

And of course you can do more than one in one or more snippets. It can be something you whipped up at 3AM yesterday, or lingering in your ms for a year. There are no rules. Just have fun, and remember to include your post URL in the linky!

Whether or not you're taking this chance to shine (pfft, why wouldn't you though), do take a look around everyone's links! I'll be sure to visit your snazzy snippets.

Does this sound like a cool idea? Which WIP would you excerpt if you join?

Twitter-sized takeout:

• #amwriting lately? It's your chance to shine in @AlyssaC_HK and @thelooneytuney's Snazzy Snippets link-up! (Click to Tweet)