Daniel For Breakfast

Hmm, another parody. The original poem is titled Daniel At Breakfast by Phyllis McGinley. Our heartfelt apologies to her.

Disclaimer: No profit is being made from this venture and no copyright infringement is intended.

Daniel For Breakfast

My paper propped against the electric toaster
(Nicely adjusted for my morning use)
Daniel for breakfast enhances world disaster
Especially amidst orange juice.

The taste dismays me. Daniel shrilly chatters
Of pizza, coke, macaroni and latté.
Daniel is gloomy, swimming in butter
He shudders at my tooth decay.

Daniels stalk the planet still, and men know hunger.
Roast more Daniels, and will catch more soon.
The sauce is thin. In sudden anger
Daniel swims away from the spoon

And broods a moment on the chicken bits
Beside him; it's cooked, but cooked ill
Recalls tomorrow means a dental visit,
Laments the broken oven and grill.

Then, having shifted from his cooked shoulder
A mushroom slice, he stares at the coffee cup,
Rebukes the sauce (surely getting colder)
Swims right back up
And, waving goodbye to a crumb on the floor,
Is forked fiercely to a cave's red door.


  1. This was fun!
    I read the original version as well before reading this even that was fun to read :)

    1. Thanks, Neal! The product of one too many bored English students :)


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