I'M SEVENTEEN! I shriek thank you and hold a giveaway!

It's time for partying! And thank you's! And a scavenger hunt! And a giveaway! BASICALLY ALL THE FUN.

Because it it my birthday! Rejoice, blookunity!

Okay, I think we've had enough excitement and exclamation marks. This has been an amazing journey — three years, blookunity! — so let's look back:

• I changed my name to The Devil Orders Takeout and celebrated my second blogversary. Also known as this blog finally got decent.
• I did ONE WHOLE YEAR of #WatchMeWrite, aka uploading videos of me writing.
• I wrote my Mulan translation and you can still get it immediately here
• I started writing Chinese Culture posts, my trademark post series!
• I began to co-host Snazzy Snippets — wherein writers share bits of their WIP — with the wonderful Emily
• I first hit 50 comments on one post when I introduced my witchy Mulan + Swan Lake retelling. If this still intrigues you, scroll on for something exciting!
• I passed 100 followers on Bloglovin' and 500 followers on Twitter!! YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY AWESOME.
• And most importantly ... my takeout army is 1 year old! Join our community of book bloggers who love YA fantasy and takeout + receive my Mulan translation and an action guide for developing your book blogger trademark!

My ginormous thanks to my beta readers for various WIPs:

Aimee Meester: your support and enthusiasm for my WIPs blows me away // Alex McCarron: I adore your aesthetic // Asha: your feedback is always so helpful // Anastasia Hart: You were one of my earliest writing inspirations. just, thank you. // Christina Im: you made me love myths and retellings so you are my queen. Also credit to you for inspiring Kim who remains my own favourite character! // Eve @ Appletaile: your poetry has grown by truly breathtaking amounts and I am always blown away // Heather Hufford: you have the greatest sense of humour; all the best with your WIPs, esp bagel-loving Death // Nivedha: thank you for being one of my earliest Figment friends. I would not be here without you. // Rae Oestrich: your writing advice and beta help is so awesome // Topaz Winters: your gorgeous poetry inspires me so much!

(Psst, if you're interested in reading my manuscripts ... there is a special opportunity in this post. Keep scrolling!)

Equally huge thanks to those around the blookunity:

Aentee @ Read at Midnight: I've seen your blog grow from its itty bitty stages to its glorious present self and it's just so fabulous! // Ava Jae: your writing advice is THE BESTEST and I loved Beyond the Red! // Cait @ Paper Fury: thanks for breaking my heart with Tremolo please write more // Chiara Sullivan: love your important opinions on LGBT+ fiction // Emily Mead: thank you for agreeing when I basically flung myself in your face to co-host Snazzy Snippets with you! // Jayvee @ Writer for Misfits: you brighten my Twitter TL every day // Kelly & Kynndra @ Diva Booknerd: your reviews are glorious and your Tumblr edits slay me // Kwan Ann Tan: but okay?? your poetry??? is just???? aslkfjdlkjasdf // Mishma @ Chasing Faes: #DiverseReads2016 is the best thing ever, thanks for featuring me // Rachana @ Addicted to YA: your comments make me smile, your poetry makes me keyboard smash // Shannon Miz: you're such a vivacious presence in the blookunity // Shar & Shanti @ Virtually Read: You two have the most fantastic blog post ideas!

But basically thank you to EVERYONE who's ever read, commented, or shared a blog post, or replied to, faved, or retweeted my tweets, or followed me in any of the ways available. You are THE AWESOMEST.

A scavenger hunt! Win the giveaway!

Basically, scavenge all around the blog for the answers to these questions! Then copy the questions into a comment, answer them, and enter for MOAR entries in the giveaway. They may have more than one answer, so don't fret.

1. Who is my favourite author (of 2015, anyways)?
2. Which extremely-hyped books disappointed me?
3. Which is my favourite Sylvia Plath poem?
4. What is the colour of my laptop keypad cover?
5. What was the original title of Matryoshka?
6. Name/describe a character who died in Shadowplay.*

Search around on the blog (and for the more challenging ones, other sites I'm on) for the answers! These increase in difficulty, so good luck! Then answer the questions in a comment of this post and enter the giveaway.

*Shadowplay is the Matryoshka prequel, chronicling the civil war. Theoretically you need to have been around really long to know this, but think about it and there's actually a loophole.

ALL THE GIVEAWAYS.

In both these giveaways, you get ALL THESE FOUR THINGS: (a) commissioning a custom "bubblehead" portrait from me, like this one:

Twitter, I did an artsy THING instead of rewriting. Should I make more of these? OR SHOULD I GET BACK TO THE WIP? pic.twitter.com/RWMABdZA8o

— Alyssa Carlier (@AlyssaC_HK) February 12, 2016

(b) commissioning a quote poster from me, examples below (c) getting to read Matryoshka in April once this giveaway ends ans (d) getting to read Witches Black and Silver when I finish the second draft in June/July.

On the left, a quote from revenge WIP Matryoshka; on the right, the opening line of Witches Black and Silver. Both of these are quote posters designed by moi!

I should also add that there are no more open beta rounds of both Matryoshka and Witches Black and Silver in my current writing plan -- which is up to May 2017! I will personally invite betas that have relevant diverse experiences to fact-check, are fabulous people, or plain threatened me with dragons and pineapples. But even those people will be reading a much later draft, so if you're impatient, you should join!

Besides, there is zero obligation to give any kind of feedback, so for those too busy to beta-read -- this one is for you.
a Rafflecopter giveaway a Rafflecopter giveaway
This is your earliest chance to read these works and quite possibly your only chance too. Go forth and enter! One winner is from general blog readers, the other two from my takeout army. Not yet a member? Join now and triple your winning chances.

Oh, and a surprise giveaway! I won a Society6 coupon from the ever-lovely Bhavya, so I'm giving it back to the blookunity. Yay!a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thank you, lovelies, for staying around The Devil Orders Takeout so long! What takeout do you bring to this party? And tell me your answers to the scavenger game!

Join my takeout army to get extra entries in the giveaway! Yay!

What I'll do in 2016 (Survey Results!)

NEARLY HAPPY NEW YEAR! As you read this, I am screaming and dying as I study for exams. Don't worry, I've saved up a few clones for the blookunity.

As we officially close this year, a few people I am massively thankful for:

• Topaz Winters // seriously, Topaz is one of the most amazing people I've ever met, online or offline. Her poetry is basically WITCHCRAFT and I've learned so much from her blog, writing-wise or just life advice.
• Christina Im // Christina inspired me to be the writer I am today. Her book recs are on point, her writing is on point, and her blog is on point. One day she'll be fabulously successful and I'll be saying to you guys, "I told you so."
• AnQi Yu + Taylor Lynn // the other two of the lovely ATTAC crew. #LitLove has made this year so very fantastic.
• Emily @ Loony Literate // she's the co-host of Snazzy Snippets (coming back in TWO DAYS!) and a fabulous person all-around. One of the sweetest people in the blookunity.
• Cait @ Paper Fury // she makes me want to be a better writer + reader + blogger ALL THE TIME. Her book photography is as magical as her writing, which has made this Vulcan tear up a little bit.
• And like so many more people! Especially my 100+ Bloglovin' followers and 350 Twitter followers (hit that literally a few moments ago)!
• I'm probably going to do a full thank-you post for my blogoversary in February, but I appreciate everyone who's ever read or commented this blog. I LOVE TALKING WITH THE BLOOKUNITY.

So what shall we do next year?

Here's a summary of my plans after receiving the survey results (thanks, blookunity!)

• We'll try book photography. I'll post on the blog, and I'll also post in my newly redesigned, soon-to-be-bookish Tumblr. Check my bookblr out?
• We'll try book reviews — I know a couple of you said no thanks but I'm thinking of a review-discussion mashup. We'll see how it goes.
• There will be no more #WatchMeWrite videos on the blog. I might still send a couple to my takeout army. But this is funny because in last year's survey, y'all wanted more #WatchMeWrites.
• Instead, we'll have a monthly recap called Dim Summary. I know, my punning skills are fantastic.
• There will be a giveaway for chances to read my WIPs and custom-made quote posters during my blogoversary in February! Watch out for it!
• I will continue to reply and comment back! And if I haven't commented on your blog before, leave a link in the comments and I'll get to it once exams are over. I PROMISE.

2015 survey results
Create your own infographics

Any advice for book reviews and book photography? What do you want to see at TDOT in 2016?

For a 2016 with more exclusive bookish takeout, join my takeout army to receive monthly letters of magic, madness, and murder!

RIP 2015, Hello 2016 (Takeout in 2015)

Hey blookunity! So it's not exactly the end of the year, but I thought I'd do my wrap-up post early so I can reveal the survey results and the 2016 plan at the real end of the year.

However, I've already decided some things.

• there has been a minor blog redesign — what do you think of the header? My takeout army helped me pick it out!
• I will change to posting weekly on Saturday — starting immediately, unfortunately, because I can barely write posts fast enough, let alone keep up with comments

But the rest is entirely up to you! Just fill in this survey below or click here to answer the survey in a new tab:

And now, some blog stats time!

2015 in takeout
Create your own infographics

How was your year, blookunity? Thoughts on the new header? And don't forget to fill in the survey!

Join my takeout army to receive monthly letters of magic, madness, and murder + early Christmas present next Saturday!

The Squirrel Theorem (Infographic)

Remember the teammates I introduced here? This post is dedicated towards our weird circle.

The other day, I was chatting with a bunch of science-oriented friends. Now, I don't mean to be arrogant, but I'd say we're at least in the top slice of our age in terms of science. I'm saying this because our conversation is very, very strange. After kicking around a pine cone, we discussed intensely on the implications of pine cones and ended up with the following points.

(Click on the infographic to open a larger version in a new tab.)

First infographic ever! What do you think? How crazy am I?

Share our theory; that's peer review, no?

• What does it take to represent a nation in a science comp? Pick @AlyssaC_HK's brain of squirrels and pine cones. (Click to Tweet.)

Subscribe here for exclusive weird takeout!

Disclaimer: I think this is plenty obvious, but GUYS. Do not use this for homework or anything.

The Student's Guide to Saving Time for Sleep

Thanks to everyone who filled in my flash survey! (Also, you seem okay with me calling you grasshoppers, so that's the community name from now on.) For those who haven't yet, I will shower you with takeout if you answer 8 simple MCQs for improved future content!

The Student's Guide is a blog series designed to reflect a certain blogger's snark when confronting school while also imparting useful advice to fellow apocalypse survivors on how to become successful in school without becoming a robot of the education system.

Ask any high-schooler how much they sleep and they'll stare at you like you've gone crazy. SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK. Oh, and this post is Hunger Games-themed ... because the odds are never in our favour.

(x)

1. Make a Cornucopia stock-up list.

(x)

How long are you at school every weekday? How long are you in class? I'll bet it's less than whatever your previous answer was. Do not let the munchkins steal that time.

Find a post-it. Write down all the trivial things you can handle in a second. Email a project partner. Find that chemistry worksheet. Read the article your teacher thinks is inspirational. Trust me, you can handle most non-strictly-homework things in less than 5 minutes, and you can do it anytime: on the bus, between lessons, after lunch.

2. Form your alliances.

It's very difficult to survive without someone watching your back, unless you're a sneaky bastard who is never noticed. (That was a compliment.) But why bother, when more than one person can make it out of school? (Hint: the person rambling about differentiation isn't one of them.)

Find a group of friends of similar, or rather, more competency than you. Pool your test notes and discuss strategies (and, of course, convincing the teacher you're right.) Advise each other on homework, but I do not condone copying. I repeat: I do not condone copying. It is ridiculously easy to get caught. Note that this does not apply for maths, because there's only one right answer and everyone does maths wrong in the same ways.

3. Suck up to the sponsors.

Teachers aren't that hard to understand when you keep in mind one thing: they have all the power. Yes. It's that simple. Know this, understand this, accept this. So if they have all the power to, say, give you homework and detention, they also have all the power not to.

In the first month or so of school, out-perform yourself. Hand in homework early. Do the extra credit work. Ask for personalised feedback. Pretend to be a model student, in other words. Once you've built that good impression, you've opened the gates for the rest of the year. So if you need an extension or a better explanation than the incredibly vague question, the teacher will be more inclined to help you.

Case in point: I switched to a new school this year. Since I was super nervous, I actually behaved in class for once. Keep in mind no one knew me at this place. By the end of the first month, I was chosen to become a prefect trainee. And since you're reading my blog, you know no one in their right mind would pick me for a prefect. Point no. 1: Tumblr.

I'm not saying this is logical. I'm just saying, teachers have all the power.

4. Learn acting, berry-gathering, archery, and cooking.

It's like the law of demand, but cooler.

This is called the law of multitasking, which states that the more things you do at a time, the less likely you are to procrastinate. I know, it sounds contradictory. But let's say you have your maths homework, your literature essay, and your presentation all on your desk. So when your attention span inevitably wanders from the maths, you can immediately start working on the essay instead of going on Tumblr.

The trick here is to carefully choose which things to multitask on. It's better if they're from the same subject or type of subject: for example, all the science subjects, or all the humanities subjects, or all the history homework your teacher saw fit to pile on you. But more importantly, it should be the same type of task: for example, it's all homework, or it's all revision. Otherwise, you'll find yourself gravitating towards the less work-oriented one. I mean, given the choice to sit in front of your notes or actually pound out an essay, what would happen?

Maybe these rules sound contrary to what school tells you. But to win the game, subvert the Gamemakers. Remember who the real enemy is.

How do you manage your time for studying and homework? What tips do you have for fellow students? Share in the comments!

Help other tributes—sorry, students— save time:

• Sleeping at 3AM? @AlyssaC_HK has 4 tips for students to save time with the Hunger Games. (Click to Tweet)

Want more insights into a student's life? Subscribe to my bimonthly newsletter for free bonus takeout!

A Letter from INTJs (We Don't Conquer the World)

Possibly you've read Opal’s letter to extroverts, Aimee’s response letter, and Heather's response response letter. I couldn't help but jump in on the train; but instead of introducing letter-Inception, I decided to add in a flair of world domination.

(Confused about this whole MBTI thing? Check out my analysis of INTJs in literature and pop culture.)

Dear world,

You should be glad, really, that we're one of the rarer MBTI personalities. The only reason we haven't taken over the world is that we're too busy snarking at each other and countering each other's evil plots. That's what you think, isn't it?

Here's the truth: you're wrong.

We may be Masterminds, but we don't all want to take over the world. Promise; we apparently prefer to stay in the background until everyone else has proved their stupidity. We're not all Loki; some of us are Spocks, or Princess Tianas, or Tyrions. Personally, I can't come up with a chess plan to save my life, but I'm pretty killer with designing lab manuals. Not everyone is clever in the world-domination way.

And yeah, we won't hesitate to snark the hell out of you. But that doesn't mean we're complete loners, either. For one, you need minions to take over the world.

Just because we don't like to sugarcoat doesn't mean we can't. We're just disinclined to acquiesce to your request to do so, but fifteen or so years in real life have taught us some basic social no-nos, just as artistic types learned to do algebra or geometry. And at least you lot get to give up the test tubes and the triangles after graduation; social skills are necessary.

When we do outright call you out on your apparent idiocy? There's an upside to it (beyond curing you of your idiocy, I mean.) Because of our efficiency-oriented mind, we're equally okay with other people making valid points about our own weaknesses. Once that happens, our pragmatism allows us to step back and re-evaluate.

Besides, where would the world be without snark?

Why this gif? Why not?

Speaking of the good Captain, we're as dedicated to our ambitions as he is to his title. Even if we're all would-be world conquistadors, we have to work at it for a while. Rome was not built in a day, Caesar didn't veni vidi vici in a week. Call us ruthless, call us ambitious, but once we set our sights on a goal, we don't give up easily. We just aim to finish it with the best speed and quality.

And you know, we don't always plan out the entire world, plus three hundred back-up gambits. The "n" for intuition is there for a reason; even INTJs go with their gut feeling sometimes. I play BS (the card game) a lot, and in the absence of actual-formed plans, I just grin at random times.

We're not all evil. It's time to see INTJs in a different light: dedicated, intelligent human people. (tweet this)

Or at least that's what I aim for. In the meantime, I'll continue to snark.

Yours,
Non-world dominating INTJ

What MBTI personality are you? Also: write a response for your own MBTI, whether on your blog or in the comments, and I'll visit + link to you here!

Share for INTJ solidarity/support on Twitter:

• It's time to see #INTJ people as dedicated, intelligent humans. (Click to Tweet)
• Are you an #INTJ? @AlyssaC_HK denies that you want to conquer the world. (Click to Tweet)

Subscribe to my bimonthly newsletter for exclusive insights into the writing life of an INTJ!

(I recognise MBTIs of many popular figures are hotly debated; feel free to start a discussion in the comments if you disagree with my interpretation. Please also note that I don't really speak for all INTJs, but am merely expressing my opinion as one.)

Just 52 More Cards

Remember the science people I introduced here? Well, they're making another comeback. For people too lazy to click onto the hyperlink, essentially we're a group of six nerds who've spent over a year training for a science competition together. We're also a little weird, as demonstrated below.

So we were having a 10-min snack break in our training, and the lecturer said, "You guys are so much more well-behaved than last year's team. They kept on playing cards."

Predictably, the next week I brought playing cards. Because I'm me. None of us are very good at card games per se, but we are very good at snark. Here are some memorable quotes.

Just four more cards for a straight flush.

Just four more cards for the whole suit.

(in retaliation to the above) Just five more cards for all the deuces.

(in retaliation to the above) Just six more cards for five deuces. 

Just 39 more cards for the entire deck.

Just two more cards for both Jokers. (We weren't even using them, FYI.)

Someone: Take it as a win if you lose less.
Someone else: Take it as a lose if you win more ... wait.

(when the two people not playing look at the hands) WOWWWW.

(Of course, we did that no matter what the hands were.)

Some more memorable pictures from the day:

One round started with this, which is amazing in itself:

Played by four different people. Honest.

And it ended like this. I mean, seriously? We start with four of the smallest cards and end with three of the smallest remaining cards?

This was one guy's hand. Life is ridiculously unfair.

Any memorable card-playing experiences you'd like to share? Drop a note in the comments!

Dying of laughter? Share this on Twitter:

• Bizarre playing card practises shared by @AlyssaC_HK. (Click to Tweet)

For more of my life anecdotes, sign up for my bimonthly newsletter!

Birthday/Blogoversary Giveaway + Blog Party

GUYZ. It's my birthday! It's also sort of my blogoversary; the oldest post dates to 20th March 2013, but I'm 90% certain that I deleted previous posts. AND IT'S MY 99TH POST. So ...

<div align="center">
<a href="http://randommorbidinsanity.blogspot.com/2015/02/birthday-blogoversary-giveaway.html" title="The Devil Orders Takeout - Birthday Giveaway 2015" target="_blank"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3s8niTO9BRDqpqwBO09K22-MOpTMqeEBdiB9dh9J9jZMfzzkfqv7BIbeos-UmLaQh5RkHhfQ8aCQcjcHvQW1iyFX6c9Ow2kuIWTfjH_FOkbI3EuEuS6DUxmBj_PCVO3RJnZlAMD-lHew/s1600/TDOT+party+button.png" alt="The Devil Orders Takeout - Birthday Giveaway 2015" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

This heralds a brand new system for the blog:

• New blog name and design, with help from the wickedly talented Topaz Winters
• New posting schedule: I'll be posting every Wednesday and Saturday
• I'm starting a free bimonthly newsletter! My newsletter subscribers will be updated with breaking news on what I'm up to, book and blog recommendations, and subscriber-only content such as bonus #WatchMeWrites, writing snippets, and sodium for explosions.

RECEIVE EXCLUSIVE TAKEOUT JUST FOR SUBSCRIBERS!

Email Address

First Name

Because this very giddy blogger has the most amazing support imaginable from you guys, she wants to give back to you. I'm giving away any novel from the Book Depository under US$10. This giveaway is open internationally, insofar The Book Depository ships. It lasts for two weeks, or until 13th March 2015. Winners will be contacted via email and announced on the blog.

a Rafflecopter giveaway And now, for the blog party! I've never hosted or even joined one before, so I'm winging it here. In your post, please (1) include the party button and invite everyone to join the party, (2) answer the five questions below, and (3) link to this post and announce there's a giveaway!

1. If you win, what book would you like?
2. What would your ideal bookmark look like? (If you own it, show us a picture!)
3. What's a book you want to read/write but have been putting off forever?
4. One urban myth you've heard about China? (Because CHINA. I'll drop by and clear it up :D)
5. List your blogging inspirations.

Add your post URL and blog name on this link-up so I can check your post out and dish out virtual birthday cake and takeout!

And finally, thank you for an amazing two years on the blog. *group hug* Thank you for staying with me through inconsistent posts and awkward bizarreness, for following me and my rambles, and for commenting with similar weirdness. I have been blessed to know all of you.

Make a girl's (birth)day and join my new mailing list? You'll receive announcements about events like this before anyone else!

In Defence of Blue Curtains: A Literature Essay

Happy Valentine's Day! I just spent the morning playing usher at Parent's Day in school, so let's keep this Valentine's post more school-themed.

I posted this thing a while ago:

From http://9gag.com/gag/aKz66jj?ref=fbp

To be fair, the English teacher is probably right in this instance. For most classics, they're literary enough that most objects have symbolic value, and some modern literary fiction or even commercial fiction will have a hint or two. Heather at Sometimes I'm a Story wrote a more detailed treatise, so do click to read because I didn't reference it at the end in APA style.

However, I believe that this sentiment appeared because teachers do over-analyse or misinterpret. Allow me, in pseudo-essay form, to give a few examples.

Not just science. (x)

One of the most common issues is the wrong application of theories. The gender theory is particularly prone to this, because when feminist literature teachers — a good thing — start analysing something not very based on inequality of the sexes, not such a good thing. What's worse, when someone points it out, these teachers will not back down easily, because they firmly believe that they are right. Sometimes they are. Not always. I've once had to memorise two different analyses by two different teachers, one who analysed from a feminist perspective, the other with Marxist theories. One of the teachers wasn't even teaching our class.

x

And often, my teachers tend to focus overly on one point or another; once a friend wrote an essay based on only one scene and did just fine. The other time someone did a presentation and the teacher took off 3 points out of 30 for not expanding a semi-related scene. She made this comment (although not the deduction) across almost every presentation. Sometimes we focus on different things. How important is the curtain really to the text? Is it a motif, or just one-off pathetic fallacy?

Another important point is that I said the English teacher is probably right. But here, we don't know. Why would curtains represent depression? Surely there are other things to suggest that? Does the association of both curtain and blue with sky play into effect? How can the teacher make this conclusion without reference to other sections of the text?

Blue = insomnia; Harvard said it. 

A quick Wikipedia search (shut up) shows us that blue is associated with lots of other things. This shows another problem -— the insistence on model answers. See, if you look back at the Venn diagram, there's no circle for 'correct answer'. It's a given that what the teacher thinks is correct. And that is death in literature class, because it becomes one very very long memory game as you try to recite all of the teacher's points.

So there we go. In defence of blue curtains. Please do leave a comment what you think — with reference to context please! :D

Think I'm awesome? Click the links below to tweet; that's what peer review means, no?

• On the blog, @AlyssaC_HK defends blue curtains in literature studies.
• Why literature teachers have a bad rap via @AlyssaC_HK.

    

Why You Should Take Public Transport

Of course there are environmental reasons, and that tree is looking at you pitifully. Of course there are economic reasons, and your purse is also looking at you pitifully. But I discovered a new reason for taking public transport: entertainment reasons.

Or, the tale of the dancing centaur.

As some of you might know, the Year of the Horse is ending here in China, so I thought I'd share this story with you. I was waiting for my train one day, and across the tracks, there was another platform opposite to me. Like this:

x

Like any self-respecting teenage blogger of the 21st century, I was using my phone and hence not looking at that platform. My friend, whose phone was malfunctioning, did and said to me, "Look at the dancing horse."

Like any good friend, I abandoned Tumblr and looked up. There, on the other side, was a guy waving his arms about. "What?" I asked. "Hey, are you okay? I think that's a human."

Like me, my friend was not very sane. And she persisted, "I'm pretty sure it's a horse."

Before I could ascertain the species of this dancing centaur, a train arrived and blocked my view of the platform. When it sped away, there was no one on that platform.

"Well, it's gone now," I said, going back to my phone.

My friend gave me a funny look. "Um. Ads don't take trains?"

I looked back up and spotted ... an advertisement billboard on the other platform, featuring a gold horse. "Oh," I said, laughing. "I thought you meant the human."

My friend made no comment and started trying to power her phone on.

I mean, you can't witness this sort of thing when you have a chauffeur. Not that I can afford one.

Any public transport anecdotes? Share them in the comments so we can laugh together!

Loved this post? Click the links below to share on Twitter:

• Hilarity ensues on a train station before the Year of the Horse ends via @sisterofsilence.
• Entertainment reasons for taking public transport from @sisterofsilence.

    

INTJ: Are You a Mastermind?

For those who are trying to pronounce "intj" right now, this is actually one of the Myers-Briggs personalities, which classifies people into one of sixteen personality types according to four different factors:

• Favorite world: Do you prefer to focus on the outer world or on your own inner world? This is called Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I).
• Information: Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning? This is called Sensing (S) or Intuition (N).
• Decisions: When making decisions, do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people and special circumstances? This is called Thinking (T) or Feeling (F).
• Structure: In dealing with the outside world, do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options? This is called Judging (J) or Perceiving (P).

These are from the Myers-Briggs site itself, or rather I copied them from Christina's INFJ post, which inspired this post. I'm an INTJ (obviously), and apparently we're called "Masterminds", which is just fine by me. Mwahaha. We're pretty rare, about 1-2% of the world, which is good or there would be too few thrones and too many plots.

Here are some examples of INTJ from TV shows and books, all taken from TV Tropes. No link because I'm not that evil.

Havelock Vetinari from Discworld

I think he's a bad guy. That's okay then.


Also, he's played by Charles Dance.

Amy Elliott Dunne from Gone Girl

Oh, yes. Yes. She's delightfully manipulative and amoral. If you haven't read the book, you need to. If you have, admit it; you rooted for her to win.

Smaug from The Hobbit

I'd like to think I'm smarter than a dragon, but dragon sounds cool anyways. Fine by me.

Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games

Maybe? I don't have a sibling, but I don't think I'd risk death to save him/her. I also would have let Peeta die. Yeaaaaah.

O-Ren Ishii from Kill Bill

YES. I mean, look at her. She is SO BADASS. I have a few issues with her portrayal, but you have to admit, she is awesome.

Also, played by Lucy Liu. Argument over.

Tywin Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire & Game of Thrones

That quote is awesome. I'm not that evil, I'd like to think, but one can always admire. Also, played by Charles Dance again.

Loki from Marvel Cinematic Universe

Oho. The crowning one. Here, have a gif and a still:

Take that, Odin!

Any other INTJs out there? Do you find me similar to the above examples? What's your MBTI personality type? Let us know in the comments!

To spread on the INTJ evil love, share this post on Twitter! It's an important step to my ultimate world domination plan. *nods*

• Literary masterminds abound as @sisterofsilence talks about her INTJ profile.
• INTJs, your fellow Mastermind @sisterofsilence talks about literary examples of this MBTI personality type.

P.S.: In interest of academic honesty and true INTJ evil, the examples are all from TV Tropes. Images click through to their sources.

    

Step Back, Look Forward

So. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! Happyhappyhappy! Let's take a look at this past year on the blog, as well as what you can expect in the future.

2014: In Review

• Kicked off the year by changing blog title from "Random Morbid Insanity" to "Insanity Inc."
• Completed Scissored or Caesar'd and A Midsummer's Nightmare, two Shakespeare play recaps. Because it's fun to mock literature class.
• Started the Student's Guide blog series, a survival (success?) guide for snarky students.
• Joined the Teens Can Write Too! blog chain for the first time, and dear me, it's AMAZING.
• Jumped in on the #WatchMeWrite campaign — twice!
• Won the Liebster Blog Award from Christina in March and three more from Heather in November!
• Was published in two lit mags. Thanks to everyone who read these!
• Started the really fun #LitLove Series in collaboration with Topaz, Christina, Anqi, and Taylor.
• Bloglovin' — I just joined in December, and it's awesome!
• myWriteClub — a beta program for writers to record their writing progress You can also stalk your fav writers if they're here. (Maybe I'm one of them? *winks*)
• Winner Takes All is now live on Figment; take a look at the playlist and #WatchMeWrite here! I'm, like, so excited this baby has been completely pounded out and the first round of revisions is under way!

2015: What to Expect

Well ... that's up to you. I'd appreciate it so much if you could take 5 minutes out of your time to fill in this survey and help me improve this blog. Scroll down in the mini-window below, or click to answer in new tab. Don't feel obligated to do it, but thanks muchly if you do!

And I'd like to thank these people for making the blogging experience amazing for me:

Friends

• (in alphabetical order)
• AnQi @ Page Eight Hundred Ninety
• Christina @ fairy skeletons
• Heather @ Sometimes I'm A Story
• John Hansen
• Nivedha @ unhappy chair
• Rona @ It's Rona
• Sam @ Her Inklings
• Topaz @ six impossible things
• Taylor @ paper daydreams
• and you, dear reader, because without you why would I blog?

Thank you for an absolutely amazing year, and I hope to make 2015 even more amazing*!

*With that survey you're filling in, remember? I couldn't do it without you!

    

The Consequences of Sciencing

As some of you might know, if you paid attention to my finished-WIP celebratory post, that I am currently in Argentina participating in a science comp. In light of the occasion, I'm sharing some of the consequences of a fifteen-month-long training courses which have eaten up my Saturdays.

Note: the "we" in this post refers to my fellow teammates going to this comp, and there's a post featuring them soon.

1. I shall never eat potatoes again.

We were doing this experiment where we were boring strips of potatoes -- it's a pretty standard bio experiment, but for those non-science people, here's a picture I grabbed off the Internet:

How the potato ended up. Mine was a bit messier, of course. (Source)

Basically we were trying to get potato strips out to test the plant cells. But so much potato juice and potato bits ended up on my hands and clothes, and we were all so sick of the taste. Not even French fries, ever again.

2. Scratch that, I won't be eating anything without biology thoughts.

We had a chapter on carbos and proteins and stuff, and now I can't eat my vegetables without thinking "cellulose" or my meat thinking "lipid". I swear, this is traumatising. I literally can't eat anything now. I mean, we bake bread using living sacrifices of yeast. How the heck am I supposed to eat that lump of corpses.

3. Taking the train.

So I'm standing there, and there's the announcement for the next station, and my mind automatically starts calculating vectors to avoid me tripping over, so I spend ten seconds muttering to myself about Newton's laws of motions and momentum. And everyone's staring at me. And I still fall over.

4. Going on Tumblr without demanding a source.

Basically one of the most important things I've learned to ask is how do you know. Not how does it work or how can I make this better, because those questions are in the future and to paraphrase one of the awesomest scientists ever, those we find those out on the shoulders of giants. But first we have to find the giants and climb on their shoulders. How do you know is the best question a science student can ask.

Predictably, this leads to several difficulties on social media sites, especially Tumblr. I mean, it's cool to see all these animal pictures and facts floating around, and they are awesome, but without a source I just can't click reblog. This results in much longer time on Tumblr as I frequently stop and go look for a source. (By source I don't mean "the original person who took the photo", I mean "a scientific paper which actually confirms and explains this".)

5. Being terrified of flu-like symptoms.

Apparently when you're initially infected with HIV, you'll have flu-like symptoms for a week. Cue extreme horror whenever I sneeze/cough/feel a bit overheated.

6. As I mentioned, no Saturdays.

It's a 9 am to 5 pm weekly training session in a university, so basically I don't have that extra crucial day for homework or whatever. It's so draining that sometimes it takes the fun out of the science — but not today. Not that, you know, I don't look forward to getting my Saturdays back.

Despite all these consequences, I'll close with a gif which adequately expresses my feelings for life:

Originally reblogged here.

That's it for today: please do leave a comment whether you laughed to death, were shocked by my ridiculous comments, or simply awesome enough to make my day by saying hi :D And don't forget to subscribe for more random morbid insanity!

P.S.: Bonus very short post tomorrow — if you follow me on Twitter, you'll know why. Otherwise, sit tight and wait for it!

The Student's Guide to Doodling

Sorry, did I say doodling? I meant taking notes. Wait, what do you mean, they're the same?

Actually, they are.

But before we go on, credit where it's due: this blog post was inspired by this post by the lovely Rona Wang on Blogger, Wattpad, Figment and Twitter. And now, the actual post ...

1. Don't use your hands.

Chill, I'm not telling you to hold your pen with your teeth. But find out your school's policy on laptops and tablets, because it's so much faster to not only type, but also spellcheck, italicise, bold, or instantly search for any weirdo things the teacher might say.

At least, try to persuade the teacher to send you the teaching materials and exercises after class. Not only does this save time in trying to figure out what "Carbon :D :D" is supposed to mean in your notes, it also neatly avoids problem (2).

2. Don't use your imagination.

By this, I mean no doodling. Believe it or not, it's normally something in the material that sparks a random thought, which leads you on a dozen tangents before you start redrawing the characters of Sherlock as sheep.

That example, by the way, was found in my physics notes last week; after an hour of staring confusedly at vectors and forces and acceleration, I realised a question on a ball falling to the ground suggested the ideas of buildings, falling, etc. (Attempting avoid spoilers here!) Which then led to season 2 of Sherlock, and then hence my doodles.

So focus on what the subject matter is about. Don't try to associate too much with other things when you're taking the notes.

3. Don't use your brain — okay, moderate usage of.

It is, of course, important to sort of know what you're doing. But there comes a point when, say, the teacher will tell you lichen is sensitive to air pollution. Being an inquisitive critical thinker, you immediately wonder why and analyse the previous diagrams showing the structure of lichen. By the time you come up with a vague and probably incorrect theory, the teacher has moved on to bread mould, and you've completely missed the exam-important points regarding that.

So save the questions for revision, not halfway through note-copying. Especially since teachers tend to interpret staring-off-into-the-air as daydreaming, not considering the validity of their sources. Because that's totally what you're doing, right? Right?

4. Don't use your ego.

Form alliances. I realise this point comes up quite a few times in the Student's Guide series, but it is important. Have a partner always copy a ppt slide from the bottom up while you start from the top, or vice versa. Personally, I prefer copying the lower points because (a) most people start from the top and you can find your missing points more easily and (b) teachers have this funny habit of leaving important points to the end.

Better yet, recruit a bunch of friends and form an alliance to enact point 1: cajole the teacher into sending you the teaching materials and more importantly, the suggested answers.

Or just find a friend who's good at hacking and have them steal the future exam papers. Don't forget to introduce me!

That's it for today: please do leave a comment whether you laughed to death, were shocked by my ridiculous comments, or simply awesome enough to make my day by saying hi :D And don't forget to subscribe for more random morbid insanity!

The Student's Guide to House Targaryen

Or, take back what is yours with fire and blood.

Note: if you actually have a dragon, just bring it to school and you have no need to read this guide.

For mere mortals, though, it may be more difficult to coerce the teacher to give you an A on the exam. In fact, most of us are probably happy with a pass. But when your answer is rejected with stupid reasons (or you're half a mark away from pass), here's how to argue with teachers and get your marks back.

1. Ensure that you can actually argue for marks.

This is unlikely to be something established by a figure of authority. Consult more experienced victims (i.e. older students) as to possible consequences when demanding what is yours. Do not, and I repeat do not challenge the rules unless you are certain you can win.

Situations where it is okay to demand the right to argue for marks: the teacher is new, the teacher is the only one who doesn't permit it, the teacher is not a figure of terror.

Situations where you do not even try: marks will be deducted, the teacher is evil.

2. Do not invalidate the model answer; prove it doesn't invalidate other answers.

Even when you truly, deeply know that the model answer is as crap as George Lucas love stories. Start by asking why your answer is incorrect. Listen intensely. Always suggest your answer as an alternative. Under no circumstances yell "I don't care about the textbook, it's incorrect!"

(I haven't done that in front of a teacher, but I did when I was doing a biology MCQ past paper. A biology postgrad friend and I chose D. A high school just-graduate and the model answer chose B. *facepalm*)

3. Find your own army of Unsullied.

Most of the time, you have a group of ready allies behind you: your classmates. Chances are, you're not the only one to get the answer wrong. Rally these people. There is superiority in numbers, and at least the teacher will know you're serious (and experienced). Huh, nice assonance there.

To illustrate how successful this tactic is, I once had an entire hall of 200 odd students applaud for me as I emphatically pointed out exactly why my interpretation of the assigned text was supported by textual evidence and commonly accepted connotations and symbolism of natural objects. The teacher ended up posting lists in each classroom about the mark edits because nearly everyone got marks back.

4. Win or lose, do it with good grace.

We (as in all students) hate to admit this, but teachers do have the upper hand. If you're aiming for better scores, you can only draw the line so far. Know when to just shut up, step back, and complain to your classmates instead. If you threw a fit (I did once), send a polite, not-really-heartfelt apology email. (Letters cannot get past my conscience, but they're more kiss-ass.) Trust me, this sort of thing works. You might even get that mark back.

That's it for today: please do leave a comment whether you laughed to death, were shocked by my ridiculous comments, or simply awesome enough to make my day by saying hi :D And don't forget to subscribe for more random morbid insanity!

The Student's Guide to Summer Camp

Note: I realize that summer vacation is mostly over and this post is pretty much rendered moot, but I will make a note to repost this before next year's summer vacation. (Oh my goodness, I can't wait for school to be over already.)

Note 2: This post is mainly based on my experiences at the AMAZING Wu Chieng Shiung Science Camp in Taiwan. Seriously, anyone who speaks Mandarin and loves science, join next year. Feel free to email me at alyssa[dot]carlier[at]gmail[dot]com for exclusive tips — I actually won an award, so. ;)

1. Do not adhere to the theme of the camp.

Because everyone else is going to adhere to it. And, hey, that's just boring. At WCS, I introduced myself as a literature lover; if I were at a literature camp, I'd call myself a fledgling scientist. Change your identities so as to be unique and not a boring 1D person.

But more than that, you want to meet someone and stay in touch after camp, which is so much easier if you have multiple overlapping interests. Probably everyone at WCS was interested in science, but I couldn't very well exchange emails with everyone. (And even if I did, I wouldn't bother finding them again in the loooong list.)

2. Talk to people randomly.

This is extremely creepy in daily life. But at camp, no one seems to mind. Say anything from "I love your accent" to "nice hair" to "what's your Tumblr". If you notice someone in the corner, you've found your next target. Take it from the person who used to be in the corner that we'd love a chat.

And to find them again (or at least flatter them with the illusion you will do so), remember to add them on Facebook, Twitter, or whatever social media you choose. Contrary to what I said above, Tumblr is actually not the best for keeping in touch.

3. Cheat.

By which I mean consult old hands. (If you're reading this blog post, you've got a head start.) What's the dress code? What sort of lectures tend to be interesting? What's the meal etiquette? Most importantly, are there rewards and how do you get them?

4. Enjoy.

It's the vacation, guys. Chill.

The Student's Guide to Surviving Classes

Instead of dividing this into points which are elaborated on, I'm going to divide this by different sections of the class. No, not like geometry and algebra and arithmetic, that wouldn't really be insanity, would it?

1. Beginning of term

What most people do: Resolve to pay attention, do readings, complete homework, etc. Attempt to take notes. Listen to the teacher rant about "class rules".

What you should do: Read through all and any textbooks, notes, etc. that you have. Evaluate the class in terms of difficulty and remember it can always be easy, except maths. Evaluate the teacher and decide how much attention you want to pay, normally ranging from none to 20%. Identify diligent and kind classmate to borrow notes from.

Acts of procrastination: Daydreaming, doodling on textbooks.

2. The middle period when exams are ages away

What most people do: Do everything in class but listen. Hand in homework late. Incur the wrath of the teacher.

What you should do: Pay the amount of attention designated above, which will be more than your classmates. Copy notes from identified diligent and kind classmate. Know that you understand what the material is about because you have read it and, contrary to what teachers think, are literate. Complete homework in class.

Acts of procrastination: Playing on phones, dozing, chatting. Anything so long as you don't get yelled at too severely.

3. Right before exams

What most people do: Study in class. Freak out.

What you should do: Double the amount of attention you pay, so you won't miss exam tips. Study according to my guide. Relax. You read this blog, you're gonna be fine.

Acts of procrastination: Try to avoid it, but if you have to, just avoid Tumblr.

And there you are: simple, sweet methods to get you through class without flunking the subject.

The Student's Guide to Revision

If the school timetable tells you exams start on the 20th, you know they really start on the 10th. Oh, you make up your mind to lock yourself in a room with your textbooks and notes without any entertainment, but today's Student's Guide to Revision will take you through how to study effectively, efficiently, and cynically.

1. Throw out most of your textbooks/notes.

Like it or not, the truth is that most of the stuff you do in school won't be tested. That translates to most of your time in school is wasted, but really, that can' t be helped. Stop wasting any more: if it's not in the syllabus, throw it out. If it contains pictures that are borderline out-sy, throw it out.

But this isn't Asshai — if an onion is half rotted a worksheet is half useful, keep it. Make a note somehow; highlight the useful lines, draw a star, rip out the useless bit. Do what you like; after all, no one reads those notes after exams.

2. Now, ignore the rest.

Chill, I didn't tell you to sort for nothing. Collect your notes and condense them into a simple document. Honestly, you'll realize that teachers like to say things over and over and over again. The point of this exercise is to allow yourself to study 5 pages of stuff that will be tested instead of 30 pages of semi-useful, doodled-over nonsense.

Trust me, it works. I once condensed my entire biology textbook into 3 pages of notes. And proceeded to score an A+.

3. Don't study too early.

You always make a resolution that you'll start studying for year-end exams in Easter, but it never seems to work out. It is not your fault. Teachers have an irritating tendency to teach until the last class and test you up to that. Or, they give out last-minute exam tips. Besides, studying too early will just make it easier to forget all the material.

Commence prep work (i.e. step 1) earliest after the second last lesson before the exam, and actual studying after the last lesson. Ignore teachers who tell you otherwise. Who's taking the exam, you or them?

(Interesting anecdote: there was a question in my math exam that no one could do. When we asked the teacher to explain, he refused because it would take half an hour. FYI, the exam was 1.25 hours long and we had 17 other questions. Woohoo.)

4. Moderate the amount of distraction during studying.

Moderate, not minimize. Locking yourself with your study materials is just asking for sleep. Allow a certain amount of distraction that will hold your attention fleetingly—instrumental music (not pop music, and dear heavens, certainly not an album you adore), 2048 if you've beaten it, sudoku, whatever works for you. Its job is to let your brain rest for a couple of minutes but not be interesting enough to eat up hours.

Tumblr. No, no, no, no, and no. Just, no.

You can go on afterwards, okay? That distraction level is in the skies.

(I'm wondering if I'm a bit too serious; I've tried to keep my voice light and snarky, but somewhere my inner nerd came out and forced me to give actual tips. What do you guys think?)

The Student's Guide to Enjoying School

I can feel your eye-rolls from across the globe. It is possible to enjoy school? Surprisingly, yes, even for your favorite random morbid insane blogger who heaps snark at everything.

By the way, this blog post was triggered by a discussion with the lovely Nivedha over at Infrared Pedestrian—go check her out! (But remember to come back, even though her blog is awesome.)

Warning: Snark level is lower than usual. It is still absurdly high.

Assumption: School per se is not oppression, it is the institution of school that is.

That sounds like BS, but school is comprised of people, no? Students, teachers, the principal, the cat ... in their own ways, all of these people are also being oppressed. Here's how to enjoy school by sympathizing, empathizing, or petting these various groups:

Thesis: By connecting with other oppressed people, you will become less oppressed.

1. Other students

Logically, it shouldn't be hard to connect with this bunch. You're all in the same boat, right? Well, funnily enough, some people like to push others out of the boat. Or use them as a sail. Or carve them up to supplement their ascorbic acid intake. Or ... you get the point.

So how do you stop yourself from getting pushed out? By making sure you steer the boat, or at least a slice of it. Start offering help on your best subject, except to the straight-A student. Make witty comments. Most of all, mock the common enemy, perceived as teachers. (The aforementioned straight-A student may also qualify.) However, at the same time, tackle that group:

2. Teachers

Those eyes are rolling out of their sockets now. Yes, teachers are being oppressed too. You think they actually want to stand around in classrooms full of kids going on Tumblr and ramble about things only they understand?

You want to do some careful evaluation first, of course, but try complaining about things that also affect them. Weirdo timetables that put lunch at 2. Skipping important concepts in the syllabus (no, teachers don't want to do that). If you want to take it really far, ask questions out of the syllabus, but that is likely to cost you the friendship of group 1.

If you really feel that you can't connect with the people who give you a D, remember that by doing so, you might just raise that grade to a C-.

3. The principal

... wait, don't. Just run and never be important enough to attract his/her attention.

If you do get noticed, you have two options of doing something that is vaguely meaningful. The boring one is to list out suggestions in the most politely worded way possible. This is unlikely to yield anything but will create the impression of you being a revolutionary.

The more interesting one, and the one I recommend, is to list out insults in the most politely worded way possible, and preferably without making him/her notice. This will make you feel genuinely amused when talking with him/her and s/he will mistake that as you liking the conversation.

Bonus: Afterwards, you can connect with group 1 by recounting how the principal is clueless. Two birds with one stone.

4. The cat

If all fails, pet this little fellow and feed it some food. It probably needs more love than sleepy students shambling past it in the morning. It'll warm up to you straight away, and cats are sooooo adorable. A little cuteness can only make your day better.

Conclusion: This blogger is incapable of staying on topic and will fail this essay.